Sorry I won't be posting as many updates. I am on bedrest, due to pulmonary embolism (several blood clots in the lung, at least one large one). I think something like 10-15% die immediately with it and there is still some risks from clots breaking loose and going to the brain. So I'm mobile, but I'm not able to do very much for a while. The clots break up on there own (most of the time) in a matter of weeks/months, but a blood thinner is used to help with breathing.
Just wanted to post a short journal and let you all know I'm thinking of you. When life is unpredictable, I do what I was taught in ballet as a child. When you start spinning around, you focus on one point while you spin. You keep focusing at that point and keep moving and you hope to end up on your feet.
Love and hugs.
Von
ShopDreamUp AI ArtDreamUp
After Open Heart Surgery
She lives!!! I'm doing well so far. Next month they'll let me know how much lungs are performing. They pulled around 15 clots or so out, some as large as 6 cm. My heart had healed to having some mild enlargement but compared to where it was they are very happy. Full heart failure is a 100% percent mortality rate, except in the case of lung clots. The surgery was developed fairly recently, so I benefited from a lot of science nerds and surgeons' hard work. I'm trying to hit the bike (have a special wheelchair bike) about 30 min a day now but the leg muscles especially are pretty spongy. My arms are in decent shape, rebuilding muscle. I have to spend ALOT of time every day to the recovery process. I have some other issues that have to be dealt with as well but I'm a survivor. Now I have a abdomen scar, a spine scar and a nifty chest scar. It's left not much time for art. I am going into the studio though, trying to practice a small amount each day. I've also been moving
The Current State of Deviantart
I still currently have core because there is no way to cancel it before the clock runs down on it. I will never spend another dime on Deviantart's behalf. When I started Deviantart all those years ago, it was a place where people could put out their own unique work. I did my best to support the platform at the time. It's basically AI prompter central now with few places for actual artists to go. DA jumped right in to pick clean the carcass of its own people with Dreamup. Not to mention the ethics and slap in the face of using our work to make their shitty AI app without permission. It nickled and dimed it's adoptable creators without giving them a safe space away from AI. It's put up paywall after paywall. I have 20 years experience in Traditional Media and EVERY time I check the section somewhere it's between 25-40% AI. Soul crushing experience, every time. The AI paywall pedophilic adjacent content is super gross with little to no moderation. Basically, opportunists
Hope Springs Eternal
Spring for me has finally brought some good news, I've found some pain management that is actually working and it's not a temporary pharmaceutical fix like an opiate. It's been sort of a tsunami of goings-on. It's nice to feel like I can handle things now without breaking. We are remodeling the bathroom/bedroom to make it accessible for my new rigid wheelchair. It's be a massive undertaking and wholly time consuming. I apologize for that. It's a hard concept for most people to understand, I've not been able to go into my closet in the last 5 years. The door frame is too narrow. Little things like that take a hard toll on the psyche.
Happy 2018!
Here's to 2018, I hope it's the best year yet! The holidays were busy for me and I did not get too much done, except for a short painting session with my daughter. We went to the Phoenix Art Museum and saw Frida Kahlo and Monet's work in person. It's always so inspiring.
I'm working through some color theory books then some Oil Painting technique books and Leonardo's Notebooks.
I've been in a major funk artistically, mostly because I'm too physically sick to paint outdoors and just tired alot. I'd honestly like to see if it's possible to create in spite of my limitations, to become a master colorist based on study and application. I wil
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Hang in there!